Why are some scientists doubtful about subliminal influence?

Does subliminal perception really occur? Can anyone be able to observe something involuntarily without being conscious about it? These questions were raised to challenge the scientific validity of such claims. Experiments were conducted to prove that subliminal perception was indeed a fact.

Messages were flashed briefly and fast to the test subjects by the researchers. The subjects did not report seeing any of these. The subjects were asked whether they 'saw' the material that they did not 'see'. The subjects appeared to 'see' what they actually did not 'see'. But then this could neither be confirmed, nor could it be verified whether the subjects were either mistaken or even lying about seeing the flashed messages.

For example of subliminals, running on your computer screen (designed for self-help) you can search on Google and download program named Subliminal Flash (by Ded Pyhto, Inc).

The experiments came to be considered comical due to the difficulties encountered in both methodology and semantics. But the few devoted researchers continued their search. 'Subliminal perception' after all these was concluded to be an oxymoron by the scientists who were researching subliminal perception.

Charles Eriksen, a leading important critic, pointed to a number of flaws in the concept. However, though upsetting, the critique was inconclusive. He concluded that subliminal perception, rather than a question to be proved empirically, was actually illogical. He also did not take into consideration the distinction between the conscious awareness and verbal reporting of the stimulus itself.

According to him, if the subject was able to discriminate the stimulus in a test and therefore become aware of it, then the experiment was treated as failed. That the subject did not see the stimulus was considered by him as not pertinent. However, this critical factor becomes important subsequently to the understanding of illusions, perceptual bias and subliminal perception. On the other hand, these disapprovals by Eriksen and others led to methodological improvements later and finally to the very recognition of the experience.


Though these experiments were unsuccessful in some ways in terms of behavioral and introspective measures. The experiments were not lacking in results but were failures due to the weakness in their integration with available conceptual models and interpretations that lacked clarity.


N.F. Dixon brought out an inclusive review of the research till then after a decade of Eriksen's upsetting assessment. Dixon, though relying on the same data that Erikesen depended upon, gave a different conclusion. He pointed out that though the information processed were devoid of awareness; the responses were in reaction to external stimuli which were not acknowledged.

Dixons' review gave impetus to Wilson Bryan Key who had laid claims to subliminal perception that led to a wave of fear particularly by Vance Packard, a social reviewer, who cautioned the creation of advertisements by advertisers using psychoanalysts. Key worked further following upon this social critic. This fear exists to the present day.

In subsequent years, the research on subliminal perception took a turn with the acceptance of the fact of unconscious information processing of the human mind besides the conscious information processing. The unconscious information processing differs from the conscious in some respects at the level of cognition (thoughts) and affects (feelings).

We see a figure against the backdrop of a scene that we are watching. At any point of time we observe only one interpretation. This has been established with the use of different perceptual illusions, for instance, reversible figures. The scene is then brought to the level of consciousness. The stimuli are grouped by the mind into outlines in line with how we interpret the scene as established in psychology.

Experiments in subliminal perceptions initially indicated that we see patterns and figures in the ground though we may not have observed these patterns. The processing of conscious and unconscious thoughts is different. This is because the level of patterning of figure-ground organization that is required in conscious processing of features in perception is not required in the unconscious or preconscious processing.

The unconscious or preconscious processing is carried out by connecting resemblances of features instead of interpreting the meaning that we might observe in the background image that we attribute it with. Psychoanalysts interpret this as the 'primary process' of the 'unconscious mind'.

Unnoticed words or images then go through limited semantic and lexical analysis activating temporary motivational states or influencing preference in unclear decisions which then become visible as associated images in free association or dreams. This reasoning is behind the claim that advertisers are likely to implant pictures in ad for influencing the viewers. The important issue is to what extent this is possible and with what impact.


Marcel's string of experiments on subliminal perception in cognitive science was perhaps the most significant. Marcel used demonstrated semantic priming with the use of pattern masking. The methodology deployed in these studies was subsequently improved with the criticism of Marcel's studies. This later led to the critics' acknowledgement of subliminal perception as a distinct reality.

However skepticism abounds with the allegation that advertisers sold subliminal audiotapes which could not be substantiated. There have also been the ridiculous allegations that there is a global plot to conceal the positive research data on these.

But the possible influence of unheard or unseen messages can also not be out rightly discounted. Though this may sound cynical, yet this is not sufficient reason not to continue building upon the present studies.

Using Conscious Creation To Improve Your Life

You've probably heard the phrase, "Idle hands are the devil's tools" -- meaning if you don't have something to keep you busy, you're likely to get into trouble. That can be argued of course, since the intent to cause trouble probably has to be present also.

However, the concept itself does hold some truth regarding what we create in our lives. If it's true that we get back what we put out (into the universe), then it's easy to see why "idle hands" would be a bad thing for us. Life on this planet is an exercise in creating our own reality. Moment to moment, we are making decisions. Whether we act or don't act, we are putting forth our intent.

Every action has a consequence, either good or bad. Remember the concept, "like attracts like." Imagine that every bit of energy you put out is traveling the universe, gathering similar energy, and eventually being returned right back to you. It makes you think more carefully about what type of energy you are putting out every day, doesn't it? If we do nothing, we get nothing back (or at least nothing very good). Our lives become boring, empty shells. The very act of not moving, not doing, not creating causes stagnation.

Does that mean that as long as we keep busy, we'll have lots of prosperity and joy? Not necessarily. Remember that we need to focus our intent on what we're creating. We need to engage in the act of conscious creation every day, putting out positive, purposeful energy. What we get back is more positive energy, more abundance and more joy.

Conscious creation means thinking about what you want to do with your time, moment to moment. There are 24 hours in a day -- 1,440 minutes -- 86,400 seconds. Some of it has to be put aside for work, sleep, family, errands, housework, and the like. What are you doing with the rest of that time? Are you wasting it on mindless pursuits, or focusing it into purposeful activities? I'm not referring to just hobbies here, either. This is a process that can be applied to every aspect of our lives. Whether we have a lot of time to devote to hobbies or not doesn't matter. What matters is that we consciously focus our intent on building our circumstances, one minute at a time.

Some of us live our lives on autopilot. It's not that we don't want to do anything, we just don't know what to do. We have no direction, no passion, no purpose to work toward. We get up each morning, go to work, come home and lose ourselves in the television for the rest of the night. In the process, we are creating more of the same stagnant energy. If this describes you, it's time to shake things up! Develop some passions. Get excited about something. Turn your idle hands into busy hands and create something magical. The very act of moving will put energies into motion and begin pulling more favorable circumstances into your life.

Keep in mind this is a cumulative process and it takes time to fully transform your circumstances. One day of activity and purpose won't change everything around. Remember that you probably have months or years of stagnant energy built up that has resulted in your life the way it is today. By consistently working at it and keeping that positive energy in motion, it will begin to feed on itself and create even more positivity.

Unleash the Power of Listening

A vital skill in becoming an effective communicator is the ability to listen. Listening skills are not taught in school, and sadly are largely undeveloped skill in many people. To listen effectively is a powerful skill that can be learnt and practiced. You will gain more respect and esteem through listening rather than through speaking.

It’s funny how sometimes you associate a certain phrase with someone. I knew someone called Ray and what I remember about him the most was when he was listening to someone speak he would keep saying “I hear you” I would wonder whether he was saying that because he heard, but disagreed with what the person was saying, or if it was a noncommittal filler

There is however a great difference between hearing and listening. Hearing refers to the physical dimension of the sound waves striking the ear and the brain processing them into meaningful information. Listening, however, involves far more than the hearing process. It incorporates paying attention and focusing with the intention of understanding and responding appropriately.

The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and to be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them. Not only that but when people feel that you have really listened to them, you will gain their respect and they will value and give you the credibility to speak and will listen you.

Consider how you feel when you sense someone is really listening to what you have to speak.
You feel good, you feel understood, and more connected to the person who is listening. The fact that they are interested causes you to feel cared for.

One important element of listening is the ability to attend.
Attending is the process where we focus in on a message and filter out others that are distracting. It is to be able to focus on what the person is speaking, and filter out all the other things that may be happening at the same time.


One of the biggest distractions to attending is our desire to speak
The desire to speak is so strong that while the other person is speaking we can be thinking about what we are going to speak next, and waiting for an opportunity to speak. As we focus on what we are going to say or interject, our attention goes from what the person is saying to our own thoughts. Although appearing to be interested and attentive, we can easily be distracted by our thoughts or something else that may be happening at the same time. At that point perhaps we do fall into merely hearing and not listening. Our mind’s attention has drifted onto other things and is no longer intent on understanding and responding.

True listening is a skill which needs to be learnt and practiced because the mind functions seven times more quickly than it is possible to speak. Therefore the mind needs to be slowed down and focused on what the person is speaking, and not pay attention to other irrelevant thoughts or distractions.

One of my all time favourite books is “The Success Principles” written by Jack Canfield.
One of the Principles he writes about in the book is how to use the power of listening as a way of building rapport and connecting with people. Jack created a series of four questions that he uses in personal and business situations. He asks the questions one after another. The first time he tried it was with his sister Kim. He asked the first question and listened to her response. When she had finished he asked the next question, and continued in this manner through all the questions.
Afterwards Kim smiled said to him “That’s the best conversation I think we’ve ever had. I feel so clear and focused. I know exactly what I need to go and do now. Thank you” He was amazed as he hadn’t said a word except to ask the four questions, and had resisted the inclination to jump in with his own responses. He has found this works everytime and uses the questions frequently.

I have used this strategy, but by using my own questions and have been amazed at the results. Not only have the questions given me a greater understanding of the person, but through the fact of actively listening to people without commenting or putting my 2 cents worth in they have experienced encouragement and a sense of connectedness. I now make sure that I ask questions and listen more than I speak.

I want you to take a moment now to think of a question that you could use to practice actively listening, and resist the impulse to speak. When you have the opportunity, use your question or questions and experience the power of building rapport with others through the power of listening.

Using Your Body To Strengthen Your Mind

For thousands of years, physical disciplines like yoga, Tai Chi and Sufi Dancing have been said to increase mental and spiritual powers. If this is true, how might one explain this, and even better, how can we use this fact, practically, to enhance our lives as artists, business people, parents, and partners?

First, we have to strip away the mysticism from the activity. Not that these activities have no esoteric aspect, but rather that we have to approach them on the most down-to-earth level. The higher the tree, the deeper the roots. The taller the building, the deeper the foundations. If you want to soar, be certain that your tether is strong. So we need to start with a simple, physiological explanation (if possible!) and then suggest a way that this ties in to advanced artistic accomplishment, relationship skills, intellectual clarity, and spiritual growth.

My own enlightenment in this regard came from studying the work of Coach Scott Sonnon, the first American martial artist to train in the former Soviet Union. While there, this brilliant man met Russian sports and performance scientists who had been studying indigenous health system in the Ural Mountains for a century. There, they found movement and wellness concepts equivalent to anything in China or India. They shared many of these concepts with Sonnon, and invited him to share them in turn with Americans. Over the years, Coach Sonnon has created hundreds of books, videos and essays on his interpretations of this core knowledge.

Perhaps the single most important in terms of Body-Mind is what he calls the “Flow State Performance Spiral.” In order to relate this breakthrough thinking in such a short essay, we’ll have to condense considerably:

1) All physical technique is composed of three aspects: breathing, movement, and structure.

2) Each of these aspects is controlled by the other two (breath is created by movement and structure, etc.)

3) Stress “dis-integrates” this structure. In other words, when you are under stress, the physiological signs will manifest in your breathing rate or shallowness, your posture, your muscle tension. This is why lie detectors work!

Before he died, Hans Selye, the creator of the “stress” concept, said that he had misspoken himself, that it is not stress that hurts us, it is strain. Stress is the pressure we are under. But strain is the degree to which that stress warps us out of true.

Stress is not the enemy. In fact, when handled healthfully, it is the primary trigger for growth. So the key is to avoid strain.

Let’s skip around a bit to a truth about artistic and intellectual pursuits: your ability to utilize your intelligence, education, skills, mind or talents will be in direct proportion to your ability to maintain “flow” under stress. Or to put it another way, in life, we are rewarded for how much stress we can handle without folding. Writer’s block, for instance, is nothing but a poor reaction to performance stress.

Combining these ideas, what we have is that mental and emotional balance under stress leads to excellence. Combine this with the fact that learning to cope with physical stress develops skills that are tremendously applicable to the mental arena. The most vulnerable portion of the “Flow State” triad (breath, movement, structure) is breathing. Proper breathing will be degraded by stress before you can detect it in posture or muscle tension. This is one of the reasons breath control is addressed in most religions and spiritual disciplines, whether this is through pranayama (yoga), exercise, hymns, ritual prayers, dance, or sacred postures.

A good yoga teacher, for instance, will place the student in a posture sufficiently extreme to force total concentration. When the student learns to relax and focus, that posture becomes relatively easy, and a more extreme posture is given. The point is to teach the student to monitor their own internal process. Fine martial arts or breathing meditation teachers use similar techniques.

The student learns to recognize the early signs of strain, and to dissipate them. NOTHING in life creates more stress than lack of oxygen, and learning to remain calm in the midst of oxygen debt will teach you to remain calm when the children are screaming, when your boss is on the rampage, when someone cuts you off on the freeway.

Or when you have a writing deadline, or when insecurity and fear hammers at the door of your resolve.

Deliberately practicing a physical discipline to enhance this quality of calmness and centeredness, while simultaneously working toward goals balanced in body, mind, and spirit, exposes you to the currents of life while helping you develop the skills and strategies necessary to excel. This, over time, leads to excellence, even in a purely mental arena.

There are numerous disciplines that will teach proper breathing under stress, and this article has listed a few. If you wish to reach your maximum potential as a mental, spiritual, and emotional being, seek one of these techniques out, and integrate it into your life. It is one of the best investments you could ever make in your future.

Why Do We Need to Control Anger?

It is often difficult to preserve control of your natural impulses while others close to us make us angry. It can be still more difficult with the cost of living raising every year and bringing more pressure into our lives, and as if that is not sufficient the legal and political system is regularly putting more stress on us everyday.

Most of us deal with the stressors in life as they come our way, but a few of us cannot and become out of control. Management is frequently the best answer for treating anger; but then, the individual must be ready to admit their actions are leading to more problems and be prepared to obtain a solution.

If a person react violently, verbally abusive, assaulting others and so on, it not only leads to trouble for the person that is out of control, it also causes difficulties for others. Normally when a person has anger issues he or she will attack other people perhaps physically or mentally or even both. The angry person will often attack in a way that belittles, humiliates, harms, or threatens another. This person truly needs to learn to manage his or her anger, because anybody around him or her is affected to a certain amount.

Anger is mainly the inability to restrain our basic impulses, needs and emotions. If a person is out of contact with his emotions, it frequently creates a chaotic mind. Anger is not necessarily a bad thing, when and if a person is threatened; it is always good to have an amount of anger to protect you, but when a person doesn't have any control at all then it will lead to problems.

Anger, sadness, joy and happiness are all parts of our emotions, and when we have those emotions in control we can live a productive life. However, when we begin to target or attack others then it is more and more difficult for us to handle our life and anger.

One clearly recognized example is school bullying, for a few children going to school is a nightmare, each day a bully will antagonize this child pushing him beyond his limit of control. The child may hold his feelings in for a period, but eventually he or she is going to loose control, due to the fact that none of us is prepared to continue permitting someone to make our lives miserable.

Sorry to say, when this child gets to his or her limit and returns the attack on the other youngster, he then becomes the culprit and is frequently punished. The bully could quite often get away with his actions, and once the victim takes action he or she is frequently punished. The school personnel will often say why didn't you tell me what was going on? However, the fact is the child most likely told the personnel and in my experiences, they seldom act. The out come is that now we have two children with anger troubles and more people in trouble. This is merely one of the numerous reasons why a person cultivates anger to the point at which they feel they have to retaliate.

Each time we are angry we feel it in our body and mind. Our body will often tense up if we feel angry. If you feel this tension then it is time to step back and take control. Ask yourself, why am I mad? Why do I feel this way? Asking yourself questions might help you find the answers if you search your mind hard enough.

Generally after a person has developed a level of anger that is out of control, they will frequently strike out at people even if there is no justifiable reason. The person may have just moved something that belonged to that person and they respond by saying something like, you stupid moron, why in the hell did you move my belongings? I cannot believe how stupid you are. Why do you bother breathing? This is completely inappropriate behavior; the angry person may attack physically by kicking, hitting, punching, spitting, or causing other types of harm to the individual. It is vital to get management in play if you have anger problems.

If you cannot control your emotions then one day, someone will control them for you. Anger is great if you have it under control, but when you loose control somebody, someday will pay and that someone in most cases will be you as well as the trail of victims you leave behind you.

Life Coach Weekend Certification

Life Coach Weekend Certification: Why You Need It

If you were a life coach by profession, would you not mind getting certification to prove your
point? Several states across the country are already strictly pushing the regulation of getting a
certification for this kind of profession. Life coaching career is a particularly dynamic field so you
will need to be capable of being flexible. You must ensure that you are capable of actually
provide help to the people who need it most and to be able to create drastic positive changes in
their lives and in their careers. It's like a domino effect. You help other people gain their
personal successes while you also work on your own gains.
The life coach weekend certification is inherently not cheap. For one, you will be cutting down
the required eighteen-month period for the accomplishment of the prerequisites. Meaning to
say, you will have to invest greater amount of money to get certification faster. Some websites
will give you quotes for the life coach weekend certificate that ranges between $4,000 and
$8,000.
Most certification awarding firms and agencies henceforth have other fees to be incurred which
may be the double of the initial payment made. Life coaching is a new entry in the corporate
world but its fame is rising continuously.
Some of the life coach certification agencies are unable to battle the challenges posed by time
itself. They come up and then get abolished in no time because of the lack of credibility to
handle the business field. Therefore, you must be very careful when choosing the agency or
firm where you will work your life coach weekend certification with.
As a life coach, you must understand the vital relation of the cognitive skills and knowledge to
your career. These factors are much important than the existing habits and attitudes you have.
Your skills and knowledge are much more empowered by your educational and training
experiences as you gain more mastery through time. This explains the occurrence of failure and
incompetence. Logically speaking, a life coach who is well abreast with the ins and outs as well
as the ups and downs of life coaching will be able to determine all his strengths and weaknesses. And no one is highly responsible other than yourself for all your personal gains
and failures in line with your career.
Having a life coach certification is actually a plus point to you because it only shows that you are
competent enough to handle such task. (But it is unfair to set aside the competence of other
people who may in truth are uncertified life coaches but in reality, they are actually really good in
their fields.)
Life coach trainings will equip you with the necessary tools and processes as well as the
effective approaches that will work well with the diversified kinds of clients that may come your
way. When properly executed and good strategies are employed, life coaching is expected to
create a positive output.
Life coaching can be a rewarding career if only you know how to be in control of the things
around you. Know how to play the game and know how to handle your clients. But before you
go on with the practice, might as well get a certification as clients put more trust on certified life
coaches. They will not opt to waste money for nothing.

The Fruits Of Pure Happiness

Any dictionary will give you the definition of happiness as an emotional feeling which parallels
with joy, contentment, and pleasure. But then these things can thus be temporary. It matters to
dig deeper into the real meaning of happiness€”a happiness that is pure and long lasting.
What makes you happy? Is it the material things such as money, clothes, signature footwear
and bags? Do you go for long-term states of happiness such as security, stable health, and
love? Which do you value the most? Have you gained access to pure happiness? When was
the last time you felt pure happiness? Have you given your all to a certain endeavor and you felt
satisfied with all those efforts you've placed?
Pure happiness is said to be both an inner glow and an outer radiation that you can feel
together with an utmost satisfaction.

Recognizing pure happiness is a must. There are several occurrences when you have been
misled to the real deal with pure happiness and simple pleasure. To mark a definition between
the two, it is vital that you know the exact difference that comes with the two terms. Pleasure is
a thing of feeling terrific over something. Examples of pleasurable experiences are a vacation
over the holidays, a spa treat during the weekend, a good basketball game, and so on.
Meanwhile, pure happiness is far from feeling emotionally at ease. It goes more beyond
enjoyment. In pure happiness lies contentment and engrossment.
So what is it that let people have pure happiness? Researchers have identified factors that can
fully describe pure happiness in a person. They say that people from all walks of life experience
true happiness but are just too occupied to pay any attention to it simply because they fail to
recognize what pure happiness and pleasure mean.
Among the significant clues of pure happiness are being totally immersed with what you are
doing, when you have your full participation on an event or engagement, when you are enjoying
to the extreme but you've certainly got no idea with regards to the time, to the passing day, to
the other occurrences taking place in your surroundings, and the genuine satisfaction that you
feel. These are the instances that can tell you that you've got nothing but pure happiness in your
mind and heart.

Pure happiness is actually a state wherein you feel like going along with the flow. You seem to
be going along with the rock and roll that sets off smoothly, hassle-free, and effortlessly. It can
be compared to an experience wherein the ticking of the clock suddenly stops and you become
totally oblivious of the things that go on around you.

Pure happiness is a great feeling of satisfaction which is totally incomparable to the simple
pleasures you get when you see your favorite baseball team winning. Pure happiness is felt
when you overcome a challenge which has been posed to you.
There is chance of pure happiness for every individual. Do not be taken aback by the negative
thought that pure happiness is only meant for other people. You deserve to experience pure
happiness. When pure happiness comes your way, you can attest to how blessed you are as a
person. Therefore, take time to reconcile things and occurrences in your life. Never fail to give
importance to the value of pure happiness.

Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence In Student Retention


Meeting the higher demands on studying doesn't end with innate mental intelligence. It also
requires the various abilities that a person may posses. For one, emotional intelligence largely
contributes to a person's ability to cope up with the present trends.
While there may not be a direct link between a student's retention capacity and his emotional
intelligence, it is still agreeable that students equipped with the proper level of emotional
intelligence are more likely to succeed academically than those who have relatively high IQ yet
lack EQ.
Having higher emotional intelligence would provide better coping mechanisms for students.
Emotional intelligence is said to be a better determining factor when qualifying the success of a
person at any field.
Being emotionally intelligent means that one has the greater capacity to understand himself and
the world at which he lives in. It may not be emotional intelligence that would encourage a
student to have more focus on the subject matter which in turn would help him retain
information. Yet knowing the importance of focus may be learned through having a suitable
emotional intelligence.
Emotionally intelligent students are likely to show confidence and self trust. They are also said
to have the higher capacity to handle problems more easily and to perform better in terms of
academics, given that they are also endowed with an ideal level of intellect. All these, when
combined will contribute to a person's self-belief and confidence that will move him to perform
better in class.
We should not focus on the student retention alone. There are various factors that must be
considered to help determine the extent of value multiple intelligence has in academic pursuits
of students. Say for communication among students and working in groups. Those who have
higher emotional intelligence are seen to perform better in these parts since they have
developed empathy and a number of other social skills.

Emotionally intelligent students are basically those who have natural tendencies to understand
other people's emotions and to empathize with them, they are also those who know themselves
fully and have the capability to influence other people's emotions and actions. Students
equipped with higher emotional intelligence also have the tendency to be a bit more conscious
of themselves and others. Thus, they create better relationships with themselves and with those
they are closely related to. These among with other issues, when inept may cause obstructions
in learning and thus, in retaining students.
Many may view economy as the bane of student retention but what we normally overlook is the
incapacities students may present in academic pursuits.
Those who are deficient in emotional intelligence are observed to display behaviors that would
link to their exit from higher education, more specifically college. They are those who were not
able to tide the increasing pressure of quitting college. There are various stimuli that would
eventually lead to the drop out of a student. If we were to sum them up though, we would find
that the majority of them are all rooted from lack of emotional intelligence.
Many drop out from college due to failing grades or in the case of ladies, due to pregnancy. If
we were to look at these two conditions, it would be easy to conclude that they may actually
have stemmed out from deficient EQ.
Therefore, it is not only in personal lives that developing EQ is productive. The cumulative value
of which in a four-year institution will be a good determinant of its failure or success.

Ten Ways To Cahange Your Life TODAY! (Part 2)

#6 Make a mistake
Too often, you can start to believe that making changes in your life means that you have to be
perfect. However, logically, you know that no one is perfect, even if they seem to be.
Perfection has become a burden that we have placed on ourselves – even though it’s not
realistic.
We all make mistakes along the way to our dreams, so why not give ourselves permission to get
things wrong once in a while?
Just for a day, try to remind yourself that it’s okay to make mistakes. In fact, try to make one
mistake during the day and see what happens. Does the world come tumbling down? Do
people hate you for not being perfect? Probably not.Giving yourself a break is a great way to start changing your life. You’re acknowledging that
things aren’t always going to head in the exact right direction, but that you will make it there –
even if there are some shortcuts along the way.
When you start to relieve yourself of being perfect, you can begin to take chances and take
steps toward the changes that you want to make because you’re not held back by the fear that
you might be wrong. Being wrong is okay. You actually need the lesson of getting something
wrong once in a while – that’s how you’ll learn what’s right for you.
Think of how much lighter you will feel once you realize that people really aren’t watching your
every move, or waiting for you to fail – you’re the only one that’s doing that to your self. Instead,
allow yourself to falter, to tumble, and even to fall once in a while.
The real lesson in this tip to change your life is that you have to also learn how to not berate
yourself each time you do make a mistake. Instead, try to look at your issues as learning
experiences. When you make a mistake, think about what happened and how you might be
able to avoid that problem in the future. It’s not about creating perfection, but it is about learning
how to do better for your self.
You’re going to make mistakes as you begin to change your life or parts of your life, but when
you start to recognize that it’s not a bad thing, you can start moving past problems more quickly
and keep on, keeping on.


#7 Talk to a stranger

Although the world is more connected than ever was before - with the inventions of the Internet
and cellular phones - it seems that we’ve become more disconnected. We seem to forget that
we aren’t the only ones that walk down out streets or have problems. And this might be
hindering your ability to change your life.
The truth of the matter is that we aren’t alone, though we want to believe that we are. And once
we realize that we do have others around us that understand our dissatisfaction with our lives,
we can start to make the necessary changes in our own.Reaching out to people is problematic, however, because it’s just not necessary anymore. We
can e-mail people or call them on the phone, but it’s the real life connections that will truly
remind us of the place of others in our lives.
There are a number of ways to reestablish this connection with the world:

• Talk to the cashier at the coffee shopCall a friend
• Meet up with your partner outside of the house
• Go for a walk outside

These simple ideas can help create the realization that you’re not alone in your want to change
the way that you live. In fact, establishing a connection with someone with similar goals can
help you more easily achieve your own.
If this isn’t possible though, at least be sure to reach out and talk to someone once during your
day. Make eye contact with them and genuinely care about them – if only for thirty seconds.
The point is to reach out beyond your self in order to find that other perspective.
For example, the cashier at your local grocery store that isn’t being friendly might be having a
horrible time in their lives. And while you used to interpret this rudeness as a slight to you,
perhaps taking the time to ask about their day will be the impetus that they need to change their
situation.
And in doing so, you can help to recognize where you are in the world, how you can continue to
make changes to affect your self as well as others.


#8 Quit your job

You don’t actually need to quit your job in order to change your life, but if you’re not happy about
the job that you have, what are you still doing there? The object of this tip is to help your
recognize things that you are settling for instead of making room for the things that you’ll really
enjoy having in your life.Maybe it’s not that you need to quit your job, but it’s that you need to quit your attachment to it.
Many of us believe that when we do a good job at work, we’re good people who are successful
and deserve to be happy. But when our jobs don’t satisfy us, we believe that we don’t deserve
to be happy.
It is in this cycle, or others like it, that we begin to feel like less of a person that can make
changes in our life. So, to stop this cycle, we need to recognize that we are not what we do or
what we accomplish.
In effect, you will want to quit the power that your job has over you.
But how to do this? To quit the power that your job has over you, you will want to consider the
following pieces of advice:

• Try not to judge yourself by what you can accomplish
• Create a to do list, but make priorities
• Set the bar lowerRecognize that what you need from the job and what your boss needs from the job are

completely different

•  Try to establish a consistent work schedule
• Leave work at work
• Realize that work is just work
  

While that sounds like a lot of platitudes, one of the biggest lessons in the bunch is the idea that
work is just work. It can help for you to realize that while something at work might seem like a
major concern right now, chances are likely that in six months from now, it won’t seem like such
a big deal.
Just for today, try to think about your job as though it was the last day that you were working.
How does that feel?
You don’t have to quit your job to quit the hold that it exerts upon you; but if you find that you
can’t seem to do this on your own, maybe it is time to at least look at the classified ads for a
better place for you.


#9 Find an old hobby

Remember when you were a kid and you wanted to be a basketball player? You went to the
garage and started to bounce a basketball up and down. You didn’t think about how good you
really were at it; you just wanted to do it because it made you happy.
When you want to make bigger changes in your life, you will want to find a way to distract
yourself from thinking negative thoughts. And this is why often times, experts will recommend
that you pick up a hobby to fill your mind when you’re feeling a little less than motivated to
change.
There are plenty of things that you can do:

• Knitting
• Sports
• Scrap booking
• Weights
• Crafts
• Etc.
  

These can all help you create a different focus for your mind when you’re considering change or
in the midst of making major changes in your life. Some experts have also noted that when you
are trying to break a habit, you will need to fill that time with something else, or else that habit
can easily return.


#10 Thank someone that you love

When we’re changing ourselves, we forget how often others have stood by us when we weren’t
in the best of places in our lives. Instead of taking this support system for granted, today is a
great time to thank the people that you love.
While it sounds a little corny, just going around to people and thanking them for their support
and their understanding can start to solidify the changes that you want to make. You are, in a
sense, creating a new life by apologizing for the old life and moving forward.
But when you start to thank others for supporting you, you are also gathering their support for
the change that lay ahead. You are readying yourself as well as them for a new and improved
you – one that realizes that mistakes were made in the past, but wants to move forward.
Support is something that we all need, even if we are focused on making changes on our own.
The truth is that we aren’t always going to be as strong as we need to be. There will be days
when we will need someone to help us change our perspective or approach things differently.
When you’re trying to change the way that you live or the things that you do, you need all the
support that you can get. Starting off by simply thanking people for what they’ve already done
for you is something that doesn’t take any time, and makes everyone feel good about the future.
The idea of change is one that we are frightened of. It signifies moving away from what has
‘worked’ for us in the past and moving towards something unfamiliar. However, when you stop
to just make smaller changes in your daily life, you can start the process more easily. Change
doesn’t have to be startling and unnerving; it can be as simple as doing something different than
you would have before: reading a new book or driving a new route to work. However, in these
smaller changes, you can find the strength for the bigger changes.
If you can start with the little parts of yourself that you thought didn’t matter, just imagine what
you can do with the rest of your dreams and goals.

Ten Ways To Change Your Life TODAY! (Part 1)

When it comes to changing your life, it can seem like it will take years before you actually make
substantial changes. You might feel like giving up before you even get started.
What you need is a way to kick start the changes that you want to make in your life – and here
are ten ways to get started today.


#1 Change Your Routine

One of the simplest ways to start improving and changing your life is to change something that
you’ve always done. And it doesn’t have to even be related to the goal that you have in mind.
When you want to make changes in your life, you want to get the ball rolling somehow. To get
that momentum going, try changing small things in your life today.
For example, have you ever driven to work and not remembered how you’ve gotten there? Not
only is this a scary notion, but it also can be a great lesson in being aware of your surroundings
and how they’re getting in the way of your self-improvement.
Here are some simple ways to change up your routine today:

• Take a new route to work
• Eat a meal during a different time of day (i.e. eat breakfast at dinnertime)
• Change the order of your exercise routine
• Get up earlier or later than you normally do
• Do different chores around the house or ignore chores that you always do
  

The point of this exercise is to realize that while we might feel comfortable in our lives, it’s that
comfort and that ‘settling’ that might be getting in the way of the changes that we want to make.
Start the changes right now by changing other, not-as-important parts of your life. You may be
surprised at how different the world looks and much more likely you are to believe that bigger
changes are indeed possible.


#2 Look in your closet

In Feng Shui decorating principles, when you use certain colors and positions of furniture in
your house, you can affect greater changes in your life. Taking this idea a step further, when
you want to change something about your life for the better, doesn’t it make sense to start
changing your surroundings?
A simple way to do this (without spending your money redecorating your house) is to simply
change your appearance for a day.
You can do this by simply getting out of your clothing rut and trying something that is completely
unlike you. For example, if you wear black all the time, try wearing a bright and boisterous
color. If you’re someone that likes to wear colorful outfits, try something more toned down.
The point is to approach your outfit as you would your life – by changing it.
Your outward appearance can make your feel more confident in yourself because you know that
you look as good as you feel or at least, as you want to feel. And that confidence will show up
in your actions as well as your interactions with others.
People can’t help but respond to change. When others notice that you are holding your head
differently, they will begin to respond in kind. This is why you will hear the term, ‘power suit’
quite often. By putting on a costume of sorts, you can create a new you – a more powerful you.
If you feel that you don’t have anything in your closet to wear that will help you feel differently,
it’s time to start thinking about new ways of wearing certain pieces of clothing together. Maybe
you can simply wear a crazy pair of socks under your classic business suit. Or perhaps you can
choose larger earrings or a silly necktie.
Whatever makes you feel differently about yourself, try to incorporate that into the way that
you’re dressing yourself today.


#3 Don’t lie

What would your day be like if you didn’t lie about anything? Think about it for a moment. We
all seem to lie about something during out day, even if we don’t realize it. When our food comes
at a restaurant, we might say that there’s nothing else that we want, even if the wrong order
comes out. Or when we’re heading to a movie, we might say to our friend or partner that we
really don’t care what show we’re going to, even if there’s one that we really want to see.
Why do we do this? Because we don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings.
However, in most cases of lying, what we’re really doing is not being truthful with ourselves and
our needs. By considering what someone else thinks, we can place the responsibility for our
happiness on someone else’s choice – and one that typically doesn’t match our own
preferences.
On the other hand, when we lie, we’re also not taking responsibility for our own actions and their
consequences. When we lie to our boss about a project or the bill collector, we’re avoiding the
issue at hand – and now allowing ourselves to learn from the mistake.
To change your life, you need to stop lying to yourself and everyone around you. This isn’t to
say that it won’t be a tricky thing, but it will be something that will dramatically change the way
that you approach your life.
Not lying for one day will make you slow down and really think about everything you’re about to
say and why you’re saying it. In doing so, this will create an opportunity for you to learn more
about the way you think and where you might need to make changes in that thinking.
For example, when you stop lying about whether or not you can talk to someone on the phone,
you might find that people that you really don’t care to talk to can be asked to call back at
another time, leaving you time and energy to do the things that you really want to do.
And that creates the space for you make the changes that you need to make.
Some call it ‘authenticity’ while others call it being an honest person; in any case, trying to be
true to your self and to others is a simple way to instigate a new way of living.


#4 Think like an optimist

Many experts will tell you that when you change the way you look at things, you will change
your life – and it’s true. If you’re sitting around expecting the worst of things, you’ll be certain to
find the worst of things. You’ll find all of your mistakes along the way to your goals. You’ll
notice all of the problems with your plan. And then you’ll stop trying because you’ve noticed that
everything is going wrong.
This is where a lot of people fumble on the way to their happiness and the changes that they
want to make. By trying so hard to recognize the bad things in their life, they forget about those
things that are working well.
For just one day, try to see your life through the eyes of an optimist – a complete optimist. This
might seem silly at first, but what you’re doing is bringing another perspective, an objective
perspective into your view of the world.
Optimists look at the world as though it only has good things to offer and in that thinking, they
see the opportunities for learning and growth, rather than the obstacles in their way. Instead of
getting upset about the car that cut them off in traffic, they hope that there wasn’t an emergency
that caused the driver to need to go so fast.
Optimism takes practice. What you might want to do is start thinking about your life as though it
were the life of a good friend that you have. When you sense that something is wrong in your
day, try to change your thinking to being more positive. For example, when your friend loses hisor her job, you don’t tell her that it was because they were the worst employee (though you
might tell yourself this), you tell them that it wasn’t their fault and that there must have been
another reason.
When you start treating yourself and your life the way that you would treat a good friend, you
start to see possibility in life, rather than problems.
An optimist is simply someone that strives to look for the good in everything. Just for today, you
can try to do the same. Is it a realistic way to be every day? Who knows? But what you are
doing is allowing your life to be as wonderful as you want it to be, and maybe as wonderful as it
already is. You just weren’t looking for it.


#5 Don’t have any expectations

How many times have you been disappointed? Probably hundreds of times, right? However, if
you think back to your times of pain and loss, many of these instances were the direct result of
having some goal in mind that wasn’t reached or some expectation that wasn’t met.
What if you gave up your expectations for a day? For one day, what if you said that you don’t
really care about what happens?
When you start to attach how you feel to something that’s out of your control, you are setting
yourself up for feeling badly. There’s nothing wrong with having goals and wanting certain
things, but when you start relying on the outcome to derive any happiness from it, you can
actually be stifling change and growth in your life.
In truth, expectations are just wishes and hopes. There’s nothing wrong with them, but many of
these same thoughts are based on a number of factors that you can not control – even if you try
to.
For example, you can’t control how someone reacts to something that you do or say. People
are autonomous and will respond in any way that they see fit. When we start to attach our
personal feelings on how someone else reacts, we are setting ourselves up for feeling bad
about our lives and our selves.The point of eliminating expectations is to start focusing on what’s happening right now – what
you can control and what you can’t. If you’re in a bad situation at work and your boss is yelling
at you, you can’t control that. However, you can control how good of a job you do – though your
boss might still yell at you anyways.
Just for today, try to remember that all that you have in your life is what is right in front of you.
Step back and recognize that true change can only come when you stop making it the end all,
be all of your existence. If you’re trying to lose weight, for example, all you can do right now is
eat better right now. You can’t expect that the meal that you eat today will affect you weight
loss in the future.
Nor can you expect that the one chocolate bar that you have today will ruin your chances of
weight loss.
Try to understand that expectations to which you attach your self-worth and self-esteem are
generally not worth meeting. It’s not about not setting goals for yourself, it’s about not making
the bar so terribly high.